Let’s Play – Let’s be Gods Children
For those of you who know me, know that I have been debating to leave my day job for months. The job that provides food on the table, gas in the car, and all the other conveniences in this life. I call it my Blue Cheese Job; old and stinky, sometimes I like it and sometimes I don’t. It has been a blessing to say the least but it is now draining me of my energy to do fully what God has in store for me. I feel in my heart that this chapter in my life is ending so why do I hold on so tightly? Is it fear, is it not knowing what the future will bring? Or is it just being patient and waiting for the right time? When I think about quitting I get so excited, the excitement where your belly gets butterflies and your smile reaches from ear to ear. But, when it comes to actually giving my notice I get all squirrelly. I just can’t seem to do it. Is it fear or is it not the right time? How does one know the difference? As Christians it is so hard to separate our thoughts from Gods thoughts. It seems as though I get signs all the time of what I should do but by the time I read the whole thing it becomes confusing, such as, I will here a sermon on being obedient and do as God has said when He says it on His terms, not mine but then the next sentence says ”be patient”. How do you know when the right time is? Today, I had the opportunity to ask my preacher that very question. His answer was basically the same as everyone else’s. Only you and God know that answer, you will know. Sigh….That was not what I was looking for. He did suggest that I pray for wisdom. To ask for guidance and direction. I appreciated what he had to say and I left.
On the way home instead of turning left, I went straight and ended up at the park. I had never been there. I was just going to sit in the bandstand/theater building they had built and read the Bible. Then I realized on the other side of that there was a playground. I headed straight for the swings. I love the swings, wind blowing on my face, kicking up to the sky. Then it was onto the slides. I remembered a couple of days ago hearing someone asking “what was your childhood passion, what made you feel happy?” The first thing that popped in my head was playing on the playground and swimming. As I was climbing up to the slide I noticed that there was a creek running along the park, I love water! After I was done playing I went over and just sat beside the creek. Listening to it sing, it gurgled and burbled. Watching it flow fiercely over the rocks, so hard that it was creating waves, but these waves were going backwards (I don’t know the terminology for that.) The more I sat there and watched the more it reminded me of life. Up further around the bend the water was flowing calmly over the smaller rocks but as it curved around it came in fierce (reminded me of a crowd on Black Friday night waiting after the doors had opened) over the dips and larger rocks picking up speed causing the water to flow so fast that it was back tracking causing white water, just as we do in our lives we get so caught up into the situation and get in such a hurry that when we get to our destination we have to take 2 steps back to realize that we have reached it, if we had only slowed down.
As I got up I decided to get back on the swing, this time I was facing away from the sun only because that was the direction I was going in. I was on there 2 seconds before I got up and turned around. It only felt right when I was swinging toward the “sun”. I swung with my eyes closed, feeling the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze in my face, I felt so calm and peaceful. Then before I knew it, I jumped off!!!! Me?, I was shocked. I got back on and swung some more, I thought hmm, I wonder if I can do that again? Sure enough once again, I jumped. This time it was fun, wondering when my feet would hit the ground. I got on again, this time fear set in just a little bit and when I jumped I tried to hold on to the chain. It didn’t go as smoothly as the first two times. I did land on my feet but my arm got pulled. I decided, that was enough. Trying to learn from all that I do, I decided that I learned that I need to just let go and stop trying to hold on! Just in our lives we try to hold on to the past that we don’t experience and allow God to guide the way.
We are the children of God. What do children and parents do best? They play, they laugh, they share, they talk, hopefully they grow an amazing relationship and most importantly parents teach their children. What better way to get close to our Father then to play, to bond, to listen, to learn and to build a relationship. The innocence of a child’s mind has the ability to have more Faith then any other. So, when you feel you need to get close to God and prayer just doesn’t seem to be doing it. Let yourself just be, get back to your innocence and just play.
So, did I get the answer I was looking for? Probably, but I have yet to ungrasp the past, and the comfort of what I know, so I am not hearing. I have two choices – He conforms to the life that I choose for myself, still having the opportunity to do His work OR I can choose to conform fully and completely to His life that He has planned for me. For now, I am going to be happy and fulfilled with what I have in my life. God has and will continue to bless me, when the time comes I will know when to let go and I will be at peace.
Many blessings and hugs to you!